This is a book spotlight feature. It seems fitting to feature this today of all days. For so many of us who are able to move on, this is a reminder that some people are never truly given that luxury, but it is in how they are able to deal with the pain of such profound loss that will define them instead of the loss itself.
Loss is something that everybody deals with in a different way. As the husband of a woman who lost her son before his 19th birthday, I have watched my wife deal with something unimaginable for me. What I could absolutely never fathom is how a parent could deal with losing a child in an event that became a part of history. Even worse, to know that there is a polarizing force out there that denies the event even took place and is part of some sort of massive government hoax.
This book is not about the events of 9/11, but rather one little girl who was on Flight #77 (the plane that struck the Pentagon) and how her parents came to grips with such a horrible moment in their lives.
They took something that could have destroyed them as people and as parents and have turned it into something lasting and beautiful. This book is a wonderful title for anybody who has lost, or knows somebody who has lost a child.
Asia's New Wings is touching and full of inspiration, as well as words of hope.
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Book Description for :
Asia Cottom lived eleven short years on this earth. Her tragic death on Flight #77 on 9/11 is forever etched in the hearts of the countless people who loved her. But her wise and influential life, her positive attitude, and profound faith in God are her true legacy.
You may love God with all your heart and soul, yet not understand what He is doing. In Asia’s New Wings, Clifton and Dr. Michelle Cottom, along with family and friends, walk beside you, sharing their thoughts and offering compassion to help you come to a place of acceptance, when trying to make sense of suffering great loss. The people in this book have learned to come to terms with what God allows, and are now in a place where they can help heal others. If you have gone—or are going through—the “valley of despair,” you will find comfort and empathy from those who care. You will also find hope and the strength to move forward as you rediscover your life.
What Asia's parents and all those who loved her went through, healed from, and learned will bring comfort and relief to those who travel down the road of loss. Reading and experiencing Asia's story will truly bring healing and life to all who turn these pages.
Clifton and Michelle Cottom live in Prince George’s County, Maryland and they have one son, Isiah. The Cottoms are the co-founders and executive board members of the Asia SiVon Cottom (ASC) Memorial Scholarship Fund.
There is No Recipe for Recovery
How I wish I could give you a magic recipe for recovery from tragedy. Simple mix a certain amount of this and that and presto! No more grief or sorrow. Of course, I cannot do that. I cannot even tell you how long acceptance will take in your particular case. Everyone is difference, and everyone grieves differently.
Psychologists say that there is a grief process with stages that most people go through. However, some people skip steps, combine steps or take them out of order. For many people, the stages of grief are as follows:
1) Denial. According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross's grief model, the first stage is denial of the tragedy. Most people have some level of shock and may refuse to accept the loss at first. This stage is generally short, but some people slip back into denial several times in their grief journey.
2) Anger. Anger often follows denial. As the truth begins to permeate our brains, we often react in disbelief, then in anger. I personally believe that the reason that denial comes before anger is that this anger can be so overwhelming that our bodies and minds need time to prepare for it. Rage is often a by-product of grief. Fortunately, this stage is generally short, but it can return at unexpected moments. Some people never feel anger, while others feel it later in the grief process.
3) Bargaining. Bargaining is a common part of grieving. We may try to make deals with God in which we desperately hope for it all to be a bad dream. We may also bargain with others; in fact, I think that sometimes when people act out by taking drugs or engaging in other destructive behavior after a loss, it is because they are bargaining with grief. They may think that if they can sedate the grief with drugs or alcohol.
4) Depression. Depression is usually the longest of the grief stages and may last for some time. It is the beginning of acceptance, before we become strong enough to truly accept and move one. It is important to take care of yourself during this time.
5) Acceptance. Acceptance is the final stage of grief and usually comes after we have worked our way through the other stages.
Your grief process will be different than mine. No matter how you grieve, it is the right way for you.